Indispensable
by Athese
Summary: "Choose one to die" Faced with the impossible choice Splinter must choose between Karai or Mikey, his daughter or his youngest son. They both survive; but can Splinter live with the fact that he choose his youngest son to die and that is why he's criticially injured right now? Rated T for injures and feels. Mikey-centric. One-shot


Important AN: This isn't my story.. well this one is, but it's an alternative ending to a story that doesn't belong to me. I asked the author if I could make an alternative ending and she said yes, so here is the alternative to the story " _Expendable"_ by _No Guns Only Roses._ (I advise you to read that story first because otherwise this one doesn't make sense^^)

And I hope you like it as well _No Guns Only Roses_! (And sorry it took so long xD)

TMNT

As soon as they were released, Donnie and Raph didn't even bother to remove Splinters and Karai's chains. Raph ran straight over to Mikey's body while Donnie helped Leo onto his feet, tears gather in his eyes. Raph fell onto his knees, tears falling down his face as he looked at the mutilated form.

Blood was forming around his little brother and even his mouth was filled with the crimson liquid.

His whole body was covered with slashes, even his shell wasn't left alone. His head was turned to the side, his eyes squeezed shu... -

"Mikey?" Raph whispered, choking on a sob. He shuddered, bringing his trembling hands to Mikey's bloodied neck. "DONNIE GET HERE QUICK!" He suddenly screamed, turning Mikey around as the smallest heartbeat was detected. A small hitch, a small intake of breath as his youngest brother was turned on his shell.

"Raph?" Donnie asked frantically, skipping to his knees as well and watching Mikey's body with anguish, knowing he had heard the screams coming from him just minutes ago, screams of agonising pain. .

"He's alive.. I s-swear I.. I- h-heard him-m." Raph hiccupped, cradling Mikey's bloodied head on top of his legs. Donnie's expression fell, placing a hand on top of Raph's hand.

"Raph.. h-he's gone" He couldn't even contain the waiver that was in his voice. He looked at Raph sadly, ignoring the rest of his family silently approaching.

"I .. l-.. h-he's n-n-not." Raph took a shuddering breath, taking Donnie's hand and guiding it to Mikey's neck. Donnie frowns, allowing Raph to place his fingers along Mikey's bloodied neck.

"I-I… " Donnie says, holding his fingers to the bloodied neck. "N-nothing Raph.. I d-don't feel a-anything"

"No! He's alive!" Raph snaps, placing Mikey's still body on the ground, and positioning his hands on Mikey's plastron.

"Raph" Don whispers softly, staring helplessly as Raph starts to push on Mikey's chest repeatedly. Don's mouth parts slightly but no sound escapes, not knowing what to say in the beginning. He was just numb, staring at the dead body of his only little brother.

He doesn't even react when Leo wraps his arms around him, bringing onto his feet and away from the bloody body. But Raph stays put, and neither one could muster up enough strength to carry the red banded turtle away. Not even Karai nor Splinter, now freed from their chains, decided to move Raph.

The red clad turtle grits his teeth, pushing on Mikey's plastron again before he feels one of his ribs give way, a crack resonating through the air. Tears stream down his face and his hands stain with blood, his brother's blood, blood that he donated every time Mikey got hurt because he was the only one who matched his blood type.

He didn't care, the only thing he could focus on was pushing, desperately trying to keep Mikey from leaving him, even if it was already clear that it was too la-...

…

And suddenly vomit emitted from Mikey's mouth.

Raph gasped, immediately turning Mikey's head as he continued to empty his stomach. "Mikey!" Raph screamed, allowing Mikey to compose himself. Donnie gasped as well, untangling himself from Leo's grasp as he ran towards his now breathing little brother.

"Mikey?!" He gasped, skipping to his knees and ghosting over Mikey's body. "We need to g-get him home, he's critical" Donnie immediately continues and without even questioning it Raph scoops Mikey up. Not caring if bile or blood covered his body. Mikey whimpered, crying out in pain, a soft pitiful sound.

But so much pain hidden in it.

Raph immediately started to run, not even waiting for a signal or waiting for someone to catch up with him. He only ran. Mikey tightly pressed against him as the latter whimpered in pain, coughing and spilling more blood onto his plastron.

"April!" Donnie screamed, holding his phone against his ear. "Prepare the medbay. Quickly!" He screamed before hanging up without waiting for an answer. He suddenly sped up, going full speed. Right now he was glad he was the second fastest, behind Mikey.

"I'm clearing the route, don't stop for nothing" He called out, speeding past his immediate older brother. He didn't even know if the rest was following him, but he didn't care. Raph frowned, doing as Donnie told him. He trusted Don to handle the situation, as he has done so many times before. He trusted the doctor of the family.

Unlike Spli-...

He ran.

Donnie jumped down, not even looking twice. He landed with ease, running towards the manhole cover and removing it. Without even saying something he took Mikey from Raph's arms, allowing the red clad turtle to jump down the sewer. The temporary stop gave way for Karai, Splinter and Leo to catch up.

Leo carefully walked over to Donnie, too afraid to touch his little brothers but Don shook his head before he could even try to do so, and moved closer to the manhole. And suddenly everyone around them cringed as Mikey let out a loud scream, convulsing as he was moved through the manhole cover.

"Mikey!" Raph called down from the sewer, taking Mikey in his arms as Donnie lowered him. "'s gonna be alright. Hang in there bonehead" Mikey only whimpered in response, crying out as Raph started to run again. Blood was still steadily streaming down the numerous cuts, others worse than the others.

And he was so pale from all the blood loss combined with the pain.

Without saying anything Don sped past them, always having been faster than Raph and Leo, and right now he wasn't carrying anyone. So he sped past them, approaching the lair at a rapid pace.

"Donnie" April greeted him, anxious as she saw him covered with blood.

"It's not mine.. Mikey.. hurt.. bleeding.. We need to cauterise.." He rushed out, sprinting towards his lab. Immediately the shocked expression on April's face is replaced with sheer determination and she quickly follows Donnie into his lab.

"DON!" Raph screamed when they had barely arrived in the lab, and the red clad turtle stormed into the lab bay, carrying a still bleeding Mikey.

"Put him on the table, he needs a direct transfusion. April try to stop the bleeding!" Donnie ordered, trying to completely distance himself from the situation. Raph nodded frantically, putting Mikey on the table. The latter cried out in pain, writhing on the table and causing the wounds to further open.

"Mikey!" Raph screamed, pinning Mikey to the table so he wouldn't be able to move. _"_ _Kitto daijoubu desu, nantoka narimasu yo_ _"_ Raph starts to whisper, trying to calm his frantic brother down. Mikey cried out in pain again, whimpering and opening his eyes for a second. Baby blue eyes were clouded with pain, tears gathering in his eyes.

"Raph" Don only says, ignoring the confused and devastated look on April's face. Without having heard the question Raph extends his arm, allowing Don to quickly but carefully clean it before inserting the needle in his arm, and doing the same thing to Mikey, directly transferring his blood.

By now tears were freely streaming down from Mikey's eyes, eyes clouded with pain.

"Kare wa mada shukketsu shite iru" (He's still bleeding) Raph points out, worried eyes focusing on his little brother again.

"Give him oxygen! Leo get the blowtorch!" Don calls out and they immediately comply, April hurrying to get an oxygen mask over Mikey's face. Leo hurries over to the side of the lab, grabbing the blowtorch and a lighter and making his way back to the table, where Mikey was.

"Otouto?" He questioned softly, reaching out to stroke Mikey's cheek but the orange clad turtle whimpered in pain, recoiling to escape the pain the touch brought him. Immediately Leo did the same, taking back his hand and cradling it close to his chest.

Don ran towards the table as well, ignoring the puddle of blood that was steadily forming under Mikey's body, onto the table, and it was only when Leo saw four large blades in his little brother's hand that he understood what Don was about to do. Mikey still bleeding out, too many cuts to stich within the first 10 minutes…

"No!" Raph growled furiously, also having caught on. "No way! I won't let ya!" He stepped in between Don and Mikey, refusing to let Don come close to his bleeding brother.

"There's no time Raph!" Don snapped, surprising all of them. But it wasn't the surprising outburst that made Raph step aside, it was the whimper coming from his little brother.

"April, Leo restrain him" He suddenly ordered.

"WHAT?! Why?!" Raph cried out, watching as April and Leo complied without question.

Donnie already lit the torch. "We need to do this as quickly as possible, that means with as many at the same time. And no one to stop him from struggling" Don snaps and throws one of the blades to Raph before pushing his own blade into the flame. The blade starts to hiss at the contact with the flame.

The blade heats up, turning red before Don takes it out of the flame and gives the blow torch to Raph and hurries over to Mikey's body. "Dad!" Leo cries out but Don pays no attention to the cry, his only focus on the cuts that were still bleeding heavily.

"I'm sorry otouto" Don whispers before pressing the blade onto the skin of his restrained brother. An agonising scream leaves his mouth and Mikey starts to twist against his restraints, crying out as burning flesh spreads into the room. The purple clad turtle cringes, lifting the blade before putting it on the cut again.

And it isn't long after when another blade is pressed on another cut, making Mikey scream even harder, Don ignores Raph standing on the opposite side of him, angry tears streaming down his face as he willingly presses down the hot blade against his brother's skin. They all knew how to cauterise a wound, and it wasn't the first time it had happened.

But it was the first time they had so many cuts to close, at the same time, with multiple people standing around a restrained brother.

"Cauterise the worst ones! Dad, start stitching him up" Don barks, passing the blade to April and readying the needle and thread. It was tricky, he knew that. Cauterising wounds was dangerous, it could easily result in infection but they didn't have a choice. There were too many cuts, and too little time to stitch them all.

He would bleed to death before they could stitch him up.

.. And suddenly Mikey's screams of agony stop, and his body stops struggling. "STOP!" Don yells, eyes going wide and he puts one of his still bloodied fingers to Mikey's bloody neck….. no pulse.

"LEO!" He screams, trusting his older brother to understand as he starts pressing down on Mikey's plastron. "C'mon Mikey" He grits out through his teeth, removing his hands as Leo places an electric pad on Mikey's plastron, connected to a small orange machine.

"Charging" Leo mumbles before the machine beeps, and Leo immediately presses the button. Mikey's body didn't convulse like in the movies, only a tiny shock was visible, the slightest twitch in his fingers.

"Do not touch patient, analysing rhythm" A static voice said and Don didn't take his eyes off his little brother. "Check pulse, if no pulse perform CPR." The machine said, and Don immediately pressed his fingers to Mikey's neck…. no pulse.

Without hesitating he started pressing on Mikey's chest again, feeling his ribs grind against the pressure.

"Leo" Don insist hurriedly, glancing at his oldest brother.

"Machine needs to recharge Don" Leo almost snaps but tries to hide the snap, barely succeeding. It seemed like hours dragged on but it could only be seconds before the machine announced itself to be ready yet. Immediately Leo sent a shock through Mikey's body, causing a slight twitch once again.

"Do not touch patient, analysing rhythm" It stated again, everyone held their breath. "Check pulse, if no pulse, perform CPR"

There was a weak one, but a heartbeat nevertheless.

TMNT

"C'mon Raph, he's in good hands" Leo whispered, nudging me towards the showers. I blinked slowly, looking up at him. He flashed me a slight smile, hooking his arm around mine so he could drag me along with him towards the shoulders. There was a flash of red as his hands crossed my field of vision.

I recoiled at the sight, gazing at my own hands.

Leo seems to understand but he doesn't stop, only glancing at me with a worried expression and looking at his own hands that were stained with blood before steadily continuing towards the shower. It's only when Leo closes the door and actually locks it that I take a deep breath again, sinking towards the ground.

"Raph" Leo softly says, kneeling down next to me. I mutter something, shaking my head and refusing to look into his eyes. "Raph, c'mon otouto, watashi wo mite kudasai" Leo mutters but I refuse his request, still not looking at him.

Eventually he sighs, walking over to the sink and turning on the water. I continue to ignore him but I couldn't help it. I felt numb, I didn't feel anything. I should feel terrible, I should be screaming, tearing the streets apart to look for Shredder, and make him pay for what he's done to Mikey…

But i couldn't do anything, I felt numb, I just sat there.

"Raph, please" Leo tries again and I slowly lift my eyes to meet his. But my arms are too heavy to lift themselves and Leo ended up half dragging me over to the showers. Leo quickly got rid of all my gear and his own before turning on the shower. Gently he started wiping off the blood with a bath sponge.

It was everywhere, blood was everywhere, and apart from a few small cuts, it was all Mikey's.

I held him, I carried him home when he bled out right in my own arms. He stained my plastron while he was… dying. I shudder heavily and Leo stops for a moment to look at me with a concerned expression. I meet his eyes, mouth open to say something, but for a second nothing comes out.

"Is he goin' to die?" the question surprisingly steady, but my whole body was shaking.

Leo sighs, unable to bite back the sob. "I don't know"

TMNT

"Hey little bro" I whispers softly, placing my own hand on top of Mikey's. The latter twitches at the contact but stays perfectly still, eyes still closed. "Yer gonna be okay, we're gonna look after ya" I continue, deliberately ignoring his father being in the same room as me.

I knew it wasn't directly father's fault; he had to choose between two impossible to pick options. His daughter, or his son. And yet; I couldn't help but feel furious with him.

"I am going to meditate, if you need me I will be there" Splinter says in a defeated voice and I glance side wards, bowing my head slightly but never vocally responding, afraid that I might lash out instead of agreeing with him, blame him for Mikey's current condition. So I keep my mouth shut.

I turn my head back to Mikey, my eyes roaming over his body.

He looked horrible, he was still sweating from both the stress and the horrible pain he has surely felt just moments ago. Because that's all the time that has passed; 30 minutes. 30 minutes since we brought him back here. 30 minutes since we pressed hot blades against his skin, and stitched him up before the anaesthesia could work.

"Yer gonna be okay" I whisper again, more to myself than to Mikey. Because he was still out cold, unresponsive. I soak the washcloth in water again, wringing it out before gently wiping of all the sweat that has formed already.

Even his face wasn't left untouched, and was now covered by multiple pads of gauzes. Large and small ones, but all of them long. The back of his head was the worst, covered in so many slashes that Don just put one big gauze over the whole area.

"Any change?" A voice questions softly and I turn my head to look at Leo approaching the medical bed.

I shake my head. "Nothin'" I mumble, reaching out for Mikey's hand once again.

"You comfortable?" I glance up at my immediately older brother, frowning at the questions until his eyes fall on the needle still in my arm. I glance down at it, watching my blood leave my body and going into Mikey's veins.

"I'll be fine" I brush him off, averting my gaze. "How's Don?"

This time it's Leo who sighs, sitting down on the other side of the bed. "With April, I just checked on him but he's still not saying much"

"Can't blame 'im after doin' something like this" I grumble, gesturing to the gauze pads that were all around Mikey's limbs. The wounds too big, and too much, to cover up with small bandages. So just like his head, his arms were just wrapped in one big piece of gauze, covering most of the green skin.

After that a silence fell over the room, but I welcomed it. I was too exhausted to keep the conversation going, and too worried for Mikey's well-being.

TMNT

"Raph?" Someone quietly said, shaking my shoulders.

"What?" I ask with a heavy voice, blinking a couple of times. I lifted my head off my forearms, rubbing my eyes and taking my mask off in the process. I didn't care and just let it fall around my neck.

"You fell asleep, you should go to bed" The same voice said and I vaguely notice that it was Don speaking. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts and looked around, facing him. He looked terrible, fatigue in his eyes, mask around his neck as well.

"I slept just fine, it looks like you need it more" I snort and Don sighs, sitting down next to me. I glance down at my arm, the needle now gone. "How long was I out?"

"4 hours"

"Don" I grit out in concern. "Ya barely slept last night and now yer saying it's almost morning already?" I ask with a frown, glancing at the clock which indeed read 5 o'clock. Which meant Don had been up for roughly 24 hours.

"I'll be fine, Mikey needs me" Don points out and I glance at Mikey, who was still out cold.

"Any change?"

Don sighs, wiping away the sweat that lingered on Mikey's forehead. "He woke up twice, but not long." He tells me, lowering his hands. "The anaesthetic doesn't take away all the pain, it was too much for him" He continues, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the upcoming tears.

"But will he be okay?"

There was a silence, a moment of hesitation. "I took a risk by cauterising his wounds, he could still die from infection… but he won't die from anything else than the infection, if we can prevent that he'll be okay"

"Don, ya taught us how to do that. I can handle this." I start, standing up and walking besides Don, putting two hands on either shoulder. "Go to sleep" I insist and Donnie turns to me, looking at me with worried eyes.

"What if his condition worsens?" He asks, and my heart breaks at the worry in his voice. I'm silent for a second before sighing.

"Take the other bed, I will wake ya up when somethin' goes wrong" I eventually say, and Don silently agrees with me and walks over to the side of the lab, laying himself down on the extra bed that was in the medical lab. Originally we only used to have one; but with our fights becoming more regular and more dangerous… it wasn't unusual for two of us to get hurt.

It isn't long before Don's eyes are closed and his regular breathing indicates that he's asleep. I smirk, that's Donnie for you. Can keep himself up and functioning for 24 hours, even with the little sleep he had to support him, but once you placed him on a bed he fell asleep within seconds.

I focus on Mikey again, walking over to the medical tray that was near him. I didn't bother with trying not to make sound; Don wouldn't wake up until someone shook him awake. I walk back to the silent form of Mikey, turning his head gently until the back of his head was exposed. Then with extra care I removed the gauze, revealing the gruesome wounds.

I wince at the sight of them, ghosting my fingers over the skin; second degree burns. That was what covered Mikey's head, and entire body. Burns where the stitches weren't fast enough; and if it hadn't been for Don's decision to cauterise the wounds….

I shake my head, gently starting to clean the burns with cool water before applying antibiotic cream and covering the back of his head with the gauze again. I spent the following minutes working downwards, unwrapping his arms, cleaning and applying cream and wrapping, until something stopped me.

A slight twitch in Mikey's fingers before a sob originated from his mouth, and his whole body seemed to seize up.

"Mikey!" I yell out, dropping everything at the sudden movement. Slowly Mikey blinked his eyes open, shutting them immediately and crying out in pain. Immediately I understood, the pain was too much for him. And I couldn't do anything about it, we had no way to knock him out completely, not like they could do at hospitals.

"I'm sorry Mike" I whisper, taking his hand in my hand and squeezing it tightly, hoping it would bring him some comfort. Slowly his eyes opened again, tears gushing out as he did so, and he looked at me with troubled eyes. Dull baby blue eyes looking at me with pain all too evident.

"Yer gonna be okay, 'm here" I mumble, and Mikey visibly relaxed at the statement, but still confused and in pain. "Do ya know what happened?" I eventually ask, trying to keep my voice down.

Mikey winced as presumably a spike of pain went through him again but eventually weakly nodded, a single tear rolling down his face.

"Everything's gonna be okay, try to relax for now." I shush him, and Mikey whimpers again, trying to stifle the sound. "Like dad taught us, close your eyes and try to relax, block out the pain"

I knew Mikey wasn't the best at meditation but he could do this, we all could. But we never experienced something like this. Never pain this severe. Mikey did what I told him, taking a deep ragged breath and closing his eyes. His hands tightened around mine and I squeezed back, rubbing my thumb along the back of his hand to soothe him.

Within minutes his breathing evened out and he fell asleep, body still rigid from the ever present pain.

TMNT

The first time I walked into the lab again after Raph sent me to bed was 12 hours later, 12 full hours I had slept. I was already surprised to see someone had carried me to my room while I was sleeping, and I woke up in my own bed instead of being in the lab.

But the biggest shock was when I saw no one being in the lab, Mikey wasn't on the bed, Raph wasn't standing guard, dad, Karai and Leo were nowhere to be seen either. And I had no idea where they could be.

"Raph? Mikey?" I asked out loud, panic seeping into my voice despite knowing that they were okay, what could've happened without anyone telling me or waking me up early? I turned around, jogging out of lab and going straight into the kitchen, running into Leo in the haste.

"Woah Don, slow down" He called out, steadying me by holding my shoulders. "What's wrong?"

I take a breath, forcing myself to calm down. "Mikey's not in the lab, neither is Raph" I say, not succeeding in keeping the panic out of my voice. A look of relief washes over Leo's voice and he grins slightly, relaxing his stance.

"They're fine, Raph and I helped Mikey to his room. He wanted to be in his own room and not the lab." Leo explains. "You know he hates sleeping in that lab, we all do" I nod, understanding what Leo was saying, because we all hated sleeping in the lab, not mentioning the nights I feel asleep in there.

But the lab was big, and seemingly cold, not a nice environment to fall asleep in.

"I thought… I saw the lab and well.." I said, taking a deep breath and chuckling slightly. "How is he?"

Leo frowns slightly "One of the wounds you cauterised first is a bit inflamed but the rest seems okay." Leo informs and I feel my heart sink a little. "He's still in immense pain, woke up in hysterics and kept begging for something to knock him out…" Leo stops, looking at me.

"I'm sorry Leo… we can't.. "

"I understand, it was just hard seeing him like this. But we need to be prepared for the next time" _The next time,_ God forbid anything like this happening again but he was right. We needed stronger medicine, it just wasn't that easy. We couldn't just steal anaesthetic they used in surgeries, because our DNA was different.

There were medicines that were fatal to us, it took time, maybe weeks to analyse it. But Leo was right, we needed to in case there was next time.

"I'm gonna go check on him" I eventually mumble and Leo nods.

"I'll be there in a sec, I promised Raph and Mikey I'd make them some food" I nod in return, leaving Leo alone in the kitchen and heading towards Mikey's room. I carefully opened the door slightly, waiting for any shouts of protests but I didn't hear any, so I pushed the door open gently and stepped inside, closing the door behind me.

Mikey was on his bed, propped up by numerous pillows and covered with a thick blanket. Raph sitting next to him on the bed, his shell against the back of the bed and MIkey partially leaning onto him, eyes closed with beads of sweat running down his face.

"Mikey" I call out softly, walking over to the side of the bed, Raph watches me, nudging Mikey gently as I approach both of them. Mikey takes a shuddering breath, blinking numerous times before focusing glassy eyes on me. My expression immediately falls at the feverish look on his face, putting a hand on his sweaty forehead.

"How long has he been like this?" I ask, frantically checking him over but stopping as Raph's hand wraps itself around my wrist.

"Calm down" He tells me sternly, carefully sitting himself up and laying Mikey down on the pillows. "It's his left arm, but Leo and I have already treated 'im like ya taught us" He informs us, reaching for Mikey's left arm and carefully unwrapping the gauze that was on top of the arm. I wince as the skin was revealed, more scorched skin visible than green.

And on of the long lashes that ran diagonally along his upper arm was now red and clearly swollen. I frown, ignoring the lump that was in my throat and my conscious screaming at me; _my fault, you cauterised this arm_. I gently prod the arm, immediately withdrawing my hand as Mikey lets out a hoarse cry of pain.

I cringe "I'm sorry" but Mikey just groans, putting his chin up in the air and throwing his head back, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. "You cleaned the wound?"

"Soap and water, and gave 'im antibiotics" I sigh, hanging my head for a minute before putting the bandage back over his arm.

"If it gets any worse I might have to cut it open but let's just hope that we don't have to" I say, eyeing at the already weak pain-induced state Mikey was in. "Where's dad and Karai?" I ask suddenly, keeping a hand on Mikey's hand but turning towards my immediate older brother. Mikey turns his head as well, watching with tired eyes.

Raph looks at Mikey hesitantly first. "Karai went out and dad hasn't come ta see Mikey ever since he woke up" Raph says, turning to me. "I think he feels guilty because of what he decided"

I glance at Mikey, trying to see how he reacts but I never got to see one, as Mikey had already closed his eyes, turning his head away from us as much as he could without straining his stitches.

TMNT

 _6 hours later_.

"You can't do this to him" I shout angrily, walking into the dojo without waiting for approval.

"Leonardo" Dad acknowledges me, not opening his eyes and keeping himself locked in a meditative position.

"It's not fair, you can't walk away from this dad" I say, less harsh this time but still demanding. He didn't deserve this neglect, Mikey needed his father right now. And dad was here, completely ignoring Mikey, who was going to be mentally and physically scarred, who was already scared and in unbelievable pain that we couldn't fully soothe.

"I cannot" Dad responds, finally looking his eyes and looking at me. I frown, sitting down on my knees in front of him, minimum distance between us. Dad seems shocked at the sudden intrusion but doesn't comment on it.

"I don't care what's happening right now, even if the world was ending right now… Mikey is more important than whatever you're dealing with." At the mention of his youngest son his face falls, grief overtaking him and for a moment I forget all the anger that I'm feeling, all that I can see is a family member that is just as shaken up as the rest of us.

"How is Michelangelo doing?"

I frown in frustration, barely refraining myself from glaring. "Why don't you see for yourself?" I cast my eyes downwards, tightening my fists. "He needs you dad, now more than ever."

"And what if Michelangelo does not want me with him?" My head immediately shoots up, not because of what he's saying, what he's implying, but because of the obvious hurt that was in his voice, something I had so rarely heard from him. And when I looked up, there were tears gathering in his eyes.

My face softens and I take a deep breath, relaxing my body. "Dad" I call out, but he refuses to look me in the eyes, and it scares me. Dad never ignored me like this, never deliberately refused to look at any of us, and never blocked us out like this. And most importantly, I had never seen him cry.

Dad had never allowed us to see him cry.

"Dad…" I say again, kneeling mere centimetres away from him. "It's not your fault, you had to make an impossible choice, one you always warn me about as the team leader" I tell him, and dad looks up at me, most probably remembering all the talks we've had about me being a leader.

Countless hours that he was either teaching or comforting me. me not being sure if I could be a leader, dad warning me for difficult choices I sometimes had to make. And the one he made yesterday was one of them, choosing between two little brothers; choosing between two children, the choice was impossible.

And in the end Mikey made the decision for him.

"I choose him" Dad whispers and I lean forwards, wrapping my arms around him.

"It's what he wanted, he knows how long you've missed Miwa"

"I love all of you equally my son" Dad mumbles, bringing me closer into the hug.

"Then convince Mikey, he needs you" I retort, distancing myself a bit from father, looking at him with stern eyes. Tears had now freely escaped from his eyes and were staining the fur on his face, and even I could feel tears gathering in my eyes.

"How is Michelangelo doing?" Dad asks again and I sigh in frustration, closing my eyes. But instead of ignoring him, I answer him.

"He's in pain, a lot of it. One of his wounds got infected and Donnie had to open it to release some pressure but it got the swelling down for now."

"But he will fully recover, will he not?" I wince, again, so much hurt was present in his voice. And now I understood why parents hid their emotions so much from their children, because it was heart-breaking to hear dad speak like this, so emotionally broken. It was worse than hearing Don and Raph cry over Mikey's condition.

Worse than Raph's emotional breakdown after we treated Mikey, worse than Don's insomnia and nightmares because he basically burned his only little brother. And worse than the failure and hurt I felt, failure over not protecting Mikey and hurt because my dad choose to hurt…..

" _If_ the other wounds heal, we took a huge risk by cauterizing his wounds" _but we had to if we wanted him to life._ "With how weak his body is right now, and with how many wounds are in danger of infection… " I don't bother finishing my sentence, but I knew that dad understood what I was implying.

And that he also silently understood that these wounds would never leave, they would surely scar.

"LEO!"

I whip my head around at the sudden shout, muffled by distance and the wall separated the hall and the dojo. "Donnie" I mumble at the voice, immediately jumping up and running out of the dojo. Mikey's door was now open and I ran straight into the room, skipping to a halt and looking around the room in shock.

Mikey was on the bed, convulsing and crying out from the pain. Raph was next to him, trying to shush him, make him focus to block out the pain but it wasn't helping. And Don was standing at the end of the bed, pinning Mikey's legs down so he wouldn't hurt himself by moving around, possibly tearing his stitches and the scabs that had formed.

"Mikey!" I shout in vain, rushing over and pinning him down by putting my hands on his plastron. At the contact Mikey cries out in renewed pain, tears leaking out of his eyes. "Focus Mikey" I beg, my throat closing at the horrific sight of my youngest brother being in so much pain that he couldn't control his movements or actions anymore.

"Michelangelo" I hear behind me and I whip my head around, facing the door. Where, for the first time after Mikey had awoken, dad was watching his youngest son.

"Ochitsuke otouto, ochitsuku" Raph whispered, but Mikey didn't hear him at all, thrashing and crying out in continuous pain, pain that had always been there. But hours ago he had been able to block it out, he had been focused enough to do so.

I send a glare towards the doorway, and for a second my dad looks me in the eyes as I silently try to _dare_ him to even walk away again, before walking over to Mikey. He stops halfway through, recoiling the slightest before taking the last two steps.

"Musuko" He calls out, looking at Don and Raph for a second before sitting down on the side of the bed and hugging Mikey tightly, bringing him close to his chest. "Ochitsuke Musuko" I unconsciously take step back, conflicted between smiling and crying over the obvious pain Mikey was still in.

But smile because Mikey was clinging to dad, crying his heart out in the safe embrace.

 _Nennen korori yo, Okorori yo.  
Bōya wa yoi ko da, Nenne shina~_

Don takes a step back as well, looking at me with recognition in his eyes, dad was singing the lullaby he always used to sing when we were younger.

 _Bōya no omori wa, Doko e itta?  
Ano yama koete, Sato e itta._

"Raph" I whisper, causing my immediate younger brother to turn his head around. I point to the door and he seems to understand as he reluctantly stands up, walking up to me. "It's okay" I assure him and I point to dad again. Raph sighs in defeat at the sight and he walks past us, don and me following him.

 _Sato no miyage ni, Nani morotta?  
Denden taiko ni, Shō no fue._

TMNT

Ochitsuku - Calm down  
Musuko - Son

The lullaby is Edo komoriuta/江戸子守唄

TMNT

Hope you all enjoyed it! Reviews would make my day *hint hint*


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